The Truth About Self-Care
The Commitment to Returning to Myself
I used to journal—a lot.
In my early thirties, I felt inspired, creative, and motivated. I practiced yoga several times a week and sought out every introspective workshop I could find within fifty miles. On the surface, I was doing all the “right” things, while deep down, I didn’t think I was living up to who I should be. I wasn’t always acting alignment with my values and had a hard time appreciating who I actually was.
As the years passed, that bright energy dimmed. My journal pages began to fill with self-criticism and guilt. I carried an image in my mind of the “ideal me”—the one who worked out daily, ate healthy all the time, consistently created, and kept everyone around her happy. I knew what I wanted to become, yet I couldn’t seem to get there. Every day I judged myself for not being her.
We all know the self-care advice: breathe, exercise, eat well, rest, meditate. But here’s the truth—it’s almost impossible to practice self-care if you don’t believe you’re worth caring for. When self-worth is shaky, even our best intentions get tangled in doubt. And as we seek comfort in substances or make decisions that move us away from our goals, our inner critic loses respect. We begin mistaking our patterns for who we are. Sometimes it takes a breaking point, a crisis, to wake us up and make us choose differently.
My own journey back to myself didn’t begin with green smoothies or perfect morning routines. It started with a bottom, of my choosing, and a moment of clarity—looking at my life honestly and identifying the boulders that were blocking my path. Then, one by one, I began to move them. The first was obvious because it caused the most pain. Once I faced that, the next step revealed itself, and then the next.
Learning to love yourself after years of self-judgment is no small task. It’s not a single moment—it’s a series of experiments, gentle course corrections, and small acts of courage. Each time we choose compassion over criticism, the yardstick moves. It begins with one daily practice that truly fills you up—not out of duty, but out of love.
Ultimately, the journey is about a commitment to be accountable to yourself—not from pressure or perfectionism, but from genuine care for your own well-being. How to make the shift and see ourselves differently? That is different for everyone. But if you can believe, just for a minute, that you are worthy (because we all are), you can begin to treat yourself with kindness and respect again.
If you are having trouble committing to self-love, let’s talk about it.